Friday, April 25, 2008

Face Off

He just left. He looked guilty. He shook his head. And then I watched him open his door.

But I wouldn't watch him drive away with her. I refused to watch him betray me.

Without a word, I turned and headed back to the restaurant's parking lot. I didn't even bother to see if Sean as following me or not. I really didn't care at that moment, I just wanted to get out of there and get back to Amber. I needed to concentrate on something other than the stabbing pain in my heart.

It hurt, more than anything else I've ever felt. I trusted him. I let him back in and I believed that he had changed, that he loved me and really wanted to be with me. It was all a lie. He was the same self centered jerk that he has always been - screwing with my emotions and not caring that he hurt me.

But what pissed me off the most was the fact that he blew off going to visit his best friend, who could die, to fuck around with that skanky whore. A well dressed, beautiful skanky whore, I thought bitterly. When I started to wonder what she had that I didn't, I knew it was time to shake myself out of it and forget about it for now.

I turned suddenly and grabbed Sean's arm. "Do you think Amber is having a good time with Alexis?"

He nodded, a small smile played on his lips. "I'm sure she is, she's been missing Alexis."

"Yeah." I chuckled sadly. "Alexis has been walking around calling out to both Amber and Reed since I brought her home. Dev -" I stopped short.

"Janie..." Sean's arm wrapped around my shoulder as I tried to fight the tears. "It's ok," he spoke softly. "You'll be ok."

"Ha," I laughed. "I expected some snarky comment from you." From under my lashes, I glanced up at him. "What's wrong?"

With a shrug he told me that I was old enough to take care of myself and nothing he could say would make the situation better. "Although," he paused for a moment. "I will say that I believe Devon is a moron; you are a good person."

I laughed. If I didn't, I probably would've hugged him for not making some snide comment about Devon. "Thanks," I smiled as we approached my car. And then changed the subject. "Back to the hospital?"

A comfortable silence settled over the car on the drive back to the hospital. It was nice, I really wasn't in the mood to say that much.

When we arrived at Reed's room, his parents and Amber's parents' were all gathered around the bed with Amber and Alexis.

"What's going on?" Sean demanded as he hurried over to his brother's side. "Is everything -?"

"His fingers twitched!" Amber exclaimed as she threw her arms around Sean's broad shoulders. "I was sitting here watching Alexis as she laid down with Reed and his hand twitched - twice!"

"Oh my God!" I ran over to them. "That's wonderful! What do the doctors say?"

Amber shook her head, "They tell me not to get too worked up over it, it could be just a muscle thing but -" she turned to gaze adoringly at Reed. "I know he's coming back to us, I just know it!"

It was exciting news and the first thing I thought was, I wish Devon was here to see it, before I could stop myself.

Amber rambled on and on about the spiel the doctors gave her and how exciting it was to see him move something but I barely heard it. I was trying hard not to think about Devon and the blond chick.

An hour later, after promising Amber I would bring Alexis by the next day, I finally was able to leave the hospital.

On the drive home, all I could think about was the struggle ahead of me. About how difficult it would be to get Alexis settled down for the night without Devon there to help me. Alexis loved Devon and she did everything he wanted her to without much fuss.

I wasn't prepared to see Devon's car sitting in my driveway. It actually pissed me off that he had the nerve to show up at my place after I saw him with her. My only hope was that he was grabbing his stuff and would be gone in no time.

My front door swung open as I walked up the path.

"I didn't think you would ever come home," Devon exclaimed as he watched me climb the couple steps to the door. "I've been waiting for an -"

"Don't even," I snapped when he reached out to touch me. "Grab your stuff and get out of my house."

Monday, April 14, 2008


The day that I brought Alexis to the hospital to see her parents, something changed. Everything changed.

Dinner with Sean was different from any other meal I shared with him. After we left the hospital he went quiet, only speaking when he told the waitress what he wanted to drink and eat.

"Ok," I reached across the table and grabbed his hand once the waitress dropped off our meals; I couldn't stand the silence any longer. "Talk to me. Flirt with me. Be rude and annoying, just please talk. The silence is killing me."

Sean ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. "Janie, I'm sorry, I'm not really in the mood to laugh and joke around. Not with Reed lying in that bed. Not with my brother missing out on his little girl's life and the love of his fiancee." He pulled his hand out from under mine and sat back in his seat. "Besides, you have a boyfriend and you don't like it when I hit on you." He laughed, "You think it's creepy - I'm so much older than you."

"You aren't that much older than me."

"Ten years." He raised a brow. "That's old enough to make it illegal Janie."

"No," I shook my head. "It's not that bad."

He scoffed. "You say that now but if I were to hit on you, you'd have a different tune." Shaking his head, he told me that he wasn't in the mood to play that game with me. "Let's just eat so I can get back to Amber - she needs me."

"Needs you?" I laughed. "Sean she begged me to get you out of that room - she wanted to be alone with Reed and Alexis."

Sean closed his eyes and sighed. "Do you set out to hurt me? Or are you that much of a bitch?"

"What?" I almost dropped the glass I was holding.

"I can understand being rude while I hit on you but now? When I'm already feeling pretty low?"

"I don't think that makes me a bitch," I replied defensively.

"What do you think it makes you Janie?"

Instead of replying, I stabbed my pasta with my fork.

"Are you not talking to me now?" He asked after a couple minutes.

"Just eat," I mumbled.

While I hated the silence, I was happy for it. I didn't think I was being a bitch, I didn't think I was kicking him while he was down. I was just stating facts. Amber wanted him out of that room. Why would he get mad at me for that? I'm not the one who didn't want him around - this time.

"Ready to go?" Sean asked as the waitress cleared out plates. I shrugged, he sighed. "Come on," he pushed his chair out and stood. "Was there anything else you were suppose to do to keep me out of Reed's room?"

"Sean do you blame her for wanting some time alone with him?" I stood before him and stared up into his eyes. "He's her soul mate Sean, she's lost and lonely without him. She misses the little moments they shared together. I don't blame her for wanting everyone to leave them alone."

"She's not the only one who misses him Janie." I swear that his jaw was trembling but I didn't get a chance to really check it out, he turned away from me.

After paying for our meal, Sean and I made our way out of the restaurant. I started towards my car which was parked at the far end of the crowded parking lot but he stopped me and asked if I would mind just walking with him. "I don't have anywhere to go," he told me. "I don't know anyone - Reed is my only friend in this town."

"That's why you are always at the hospital," I glanced at him. "Isn't it?"

With a shrug, he flashed me a forced smile. "Let's walk," he motioned towards the sidewalk that ran along the side of the restaurant.

We strolled along the sidewalk, side by side but for the amount we spoke to each other, we could've been strangers. Only it wasn't uncomfortable. It was actually the most comfortable I felt with him ever. It was nice for a change.

"Sean," I reached out and touched his arm. I wanted to apologize for my behaviour and I wanted to tell him I could be his friend, if he let me in and stop hitting on me.

But I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure out of the corner of my eye. It was Devon. With his hand planted in the middle of some blonde chick's back as he led her from a building across the street, to his car. I stood, frozen in spot with my mouth hanging open as I watched him open the passenger side door for her. She turned, said something to him and he laughed. She kissed his cheek and he helped her into his car.

"Janie," Sean tugged on my hand as he suggested that we continue walking.

I couldn't move though, my heart was crumbling into a million pieces. I couldn't take my eyes off the smile on his face as he rounded his car.

Just before he opened his car door, he looked up and around. Our eyes met across the busy street and his smile disappeared.