Too Close For Comfort

"That's why I think you should give me the land," my dad said smugly over his glass of wine.

"Excuse me?" I stared at him blankly. "You think I should give you the land that my mom left me, the land that had been in her family for generations, because you feel you deserve it after being married to her?"

Dad scoffed, "It's not like you can afford to rebuild on the land Janie. The taxes alone are more than you can afford. I'm only thinking of you dear."

Yeah, right! I shook my head in disbelief. "Is that all you wanted?" I asked, he had been calling Devon's place since the night of the fire and calling Devon at work everyday to set up this meeting. "You don't want to know how I'm doing? If I'm having nightmares? Or if I'm even missing mom?"

"Janie come on! Of course you are having nightmares! That woman was horrible!"

"Hey!" I jumped up, not caring that my actions drew the attention of those seated in the restaurant around me. "I loved mom and I miss her everyday dad. I'm not going to just give you the only thing left from the time I spent with her and I don't appreciate the way you belittle her, even now, after she's dead." I grabbed my purse and crutches, "I have to go."

It didn't take much for him to catch up with me, I was, after all, trying to maneuver through a bust restaurant on crutches. "Listen Janie -"

"No dad, you listen. That land is all I have left from mom, I may not be able to live on it right now but I plan on doing so in the future."

"Be reasonable Janie, you can't afford it."

"You're right," I admitted. "I don't have a lot of money to throw around like you do but I'll be damned if I just give my mother's family land over to the man who screwed around with her heart long after the divorce was final." He tried to tell me that I didn't know what I was talking about but I didn't want to hear it, I found out lots of stuff since the fire that I didn't know. "I know that neighbours talk dad, I know about the visits you made to the house while I was out, I know about the booze you brought mom." My dad paled and I wanted to punch his lights out. "I know all about the promises you made to her dad, all the lies you told her about coming home and being a family again."

"Janie..."

"No," I snapped. "I don't want to hear it," I told him. As I turned to left, I threw one last comment over my shoulder, "As far as I'm concerned, you killed my mom."

When I got back to Devon's last night, I wanted to head straight for his bathroom, fill his huge tub with bubbles and hideaway for the rest of the night but he was waiting by the door when I let myself in.

"Your dad called me," he helped me with my coat. "He told me that you were upset and he just wanted to make sure you got back here ok."

"Sure he did," I rolled my eyes.

Devon watched me cross the floor to his couch to sit down. "Did you at least finish your meal before you got upset and stormed out?" I glared at him. "I'm just asking because I ordered some Chinese take out," he told me with a smile. "I called them just after I hung up with your dad, I figured you would be hungry still."

He joined me on the couch, "Did you want to talk about what happened?"

I shook my head and then started to spill everything that happened. By the time I was done, he was holding me and I was crying, a situation that has happened a lot since the fire. "God, I hope this doesn't become a pattern for us," I said jokingly when I could speak without sobbing again.

"I kind of like this," he murmured.

"You do?" I glanced up at him.

"Mmhmm," he smiled, "I don't like the reason this is happening but I like being the one to comfort you instead of being the one to piss you off." He pressed his lips against my forehead and sighed contently. "Despite all the energy you put into pushing me away Janie, I don't believe that your feelings for me have changed." He pulled back enough to gaze into my eyes. "I know my feelings for you haven't changed."

"Devon -"

He cut me off with a kiss. "Don't," he pleaded softly. "Don't think, just let this moment happen."

The moment he was talking about just involved me being all wrapped up in his arms, I didn't have the energy to fight him so I didn't.

This morning as I pretended to be asleep while he got ready for work, I realized that I couldn't stay here any longer without losing myself in him again. It's time I found another place to stay.

Telling him that will be the hardest part, he seems to like having me around.

Beginning To Be Me Again

I woke up on the couch this morning, like I have a couple mornings since I've been here, and immediately I started to think about what I could do to show Devon I really appreciated all that he's down for me. Sure, something sexual crossed my mind but I didn't think I was really in the right place, mentally, to open up that can of worms again.

So I did the next best thing. I pushed the blanket back, rolled off the couch and headed into his kitchen. After a quick search of his fridge and cupboards, I decided that I would make him breakfast. I'm not much of a cook, so bacon, eggs, toast and coffee would have to be good enough.

"Well it can't be any worse than the junk he normally eats for breakfast," I muttered as I tugged the coffee filters out of his cupboard. On a normal morning, Devon got up at 6 to shower and shave. He was dressed and out the door by 7 so he could stop at the corner fast food restaurant for some imitation egg and bacon sandwich and really horrible coffee before he headed into the office for 8.

"At least I know how to make a great cup of coffee," I smiled as I pressed the button on his coffeemaker. "All those pots of coffee I had to make at the office are finally of some use to me."

As the coffee perked, I rummaged through his cupboards until I found his grill and toaster. "This is going to be great," I told myself as I heated the grill up and pulled the bacon out of the fridge.

A few minutes later, the bacon was sizzling nicely on the grill and the aroma of fresh brewed coffee drifted through the kitchen. After turning the strips of bacon over, I pulled a mug from the rack and filled it with the hot rich brew before heading off across the floor to Devon's bedroom.

Even though I heard him stirring a few minutes before, I still paused outside his door, knocked and waited for his 'come in'. "Good morning," I flashed him a smile as I neared the bed.

"Mmmm morning," he pressed his hands against the mattress to push himself up into a sitting position. "Couldn't sleep?" He glanced at the unused pillow next to his.

"No," I lowered myself onto his mattress. "I actually fell asleep on the couch last night."

"Oh, I see." He spotted the mug in my hand. "What's that?"

"Coffee," I held it out to him. "You still like it black, right?"

"It's for me?" I nodded and he smiled. "Thank you," he took the mug from me and brought it up to his lips. "Oh yeah," he sighed happily, "That's the ticket."

I grinned. "I'm glad you like it," I said as I stood to return to the kitchen and his breakfast.

"Where are you going?" He asked me. "Why don't you grab a cup of coffee and come sit with me for a few minutes?"

As tempting as he looked sitting there with is hair all messed up and sleepy expression on his face, I resisted and told him I had to go back tot he kitchen before the bacon burnt. I was halfway through his bedroom door when I heard him scramble out of bed as he mumbled, "before the bacon burns?"

I made my way over to the grill with Devon on my heel. "What are you doing?" He asked as he stared at the grill full of bacon before turning his disbelieving eyes my way. "Are you...making me breakfast?"

"Yes," I moved closer to him and pressed my hand against his chest. "I thought it would be nice to do this for you for being so nice to me since my mom..."

"Oh Janie," he placed his mug on the counter and pulled me into his arms. He rubbed my back and spoke soothing words to me as I sobbed against his chest. "You don't have to do this for me, you don't owe me anything baby."

"I know," I sniffled as I looked up at him. "I just thought it would be nice, you wouldn't have to go to the corner to get something to eat and..."

"That's a good idea," he reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "I like this," he nodded towards the grill. "I've never had anyone cook anything for me before."

"Don't get used to it," I chuckled nervously as I moved out of his arms.

"I won't," he grinned. "I'm not about to take this for granted Janie."

While I finished cooking breakfast, Devon set the table and then he stood near me with his back against the counter while he drank his second cup of coffee. "This is awesome," he told me for the third time. "It smells wonderful in here and that," he pointed to the plate of bacon and sighed. "I can't wait to eat."

It may not have been a big deal for me to cook breakfast for him but long after he had gone to work, I was still smiling. It felt good. It was the first time since the fire that I did something that made me happy.

And it really helped that Devon was very appreciative of my efforts. Plus he told me, before he left for work, how happy he was to see a smile on my face again. "It looks really good on you Janie."

Fine And Dandy - I Won't Let Sorrow Bring Me Down

I'm laying in Devon's living room, on his couch, with his laptop on my lap. The only sounds I hear come from his big bulky stereo headphones that I've plugged into the laptop so I could hear music instead of listening to my thoughts anymore. It helps a little.

Or it did until I came across the Christmas music he has on here. Now, I'm trying really hard not to fall to pieces again as the memories of Christmas past haunt me.

Christmas to me was always the best time of year, it always seemed so magical. It seemed that no matter what was going on around me, the spirit of Christmas was strong enough to push the bad stuff away for a while.

Growing up my parents fought all the time, so much so that I thought it was normal for parents to argue. They tried to keep it from me but sound travelled so easily in the early morning hours. But that didn't seem to matter around Christmas time, that seemed to be the only time my parents were happy together.

Looking back on it now, I know that they were just pretending. The happiness they displayed during this time of year was only a mask they wore so the rest of the world wouldn't know that they thought they were trapped in a relationship with someone one they didn't love.

Well, that was my dad's reasoning I guess. He's the one who left while mom was left to sink into the depths of depression. Do I blame him for what happened to my mom after he left? You're damn right I do! My mom was head over heels for him, she married him despite the disapproval of her family because she was sure that he was the man for her.

Yeah, for her and every other woman who climbed into his bed.

My dad was never faithful and my mom knew that. Once I asked her how on earth she could live with knowing her husband was out screwing anything that walked and she replied, "He's not a bad man Janie, he may have mistresses but it's me he comes home to every night." I asked her how that could possibly be a healthy relationship and she become upset. "I love him Janie," she told me. "You wouldn't understand because you've never been in love but when you do, you'll find out that you'll do anything to keep the man you love."

"I don't think so," I told her then. "I'll never let a man use me like he's using you. It's not love mom, there's no way it could be."

Little did I know that not even three years after I had that conversation with my mom, I would find myself in pretty much the same position with Devon. And like my mom, I stupidly believed that it was ok. That it was alright that he cheated all the time because I was 'his girl'. It wasn't until I saw Reed hurting over Amber's leaving that I realized what my parents had and what I had with Devon wasn't a real relationship. That's when I swore to myself that I would find a man who loved me like Reed loved Amber.

I'm embarrassed to admit this but for a while I thought that in order to have that love, I would have to have Reed. No, I didn't make a play for my best friend's man but I thought about it. It wouldn't have worked Reed was too heartbroken over Amber to even notice anyone else. And when he did start to pull himself out from the bottle he drowned himself in, all his focus was on finding her and convincing her to give him another chance.

I thank God everyday that I was smart enough to realize that having Reed wouldn't mean I would have the love he felt for Amber before I did something stupid.

Which brings me to Cary. He's sweet and kind. He's funny and smart but that's it. I knew from the beginning he wasn't for me but actually having a man want my opinion and want to spend his spare time with me was new and I convinced myself it was love. That's why I agreed to marry him so quickly.

But then Devon had to go and 'change'. He had to go tell everyone who would listen how much he 'loved' me and it made me hopeful. I resisted him for a while but I knew it would only be a matter of time before he talked his way back into my bed.

And boy, did he ever talk his way back into my bed! I actually believed that we were given a second chance but soon the dream like state washed away and I realized that it still wasn't everything it should've been. Part of it was me holding back from him because I didn't want to end up like my mom did when my dad finally left her. I didn't want to be like her and there were too many similarities between my dad and Devon. The other part of it was that I was comparing our relationship with Amber and Reed's and, sadly, it came up seriously lacking.

Maybe I have to stop comparing my relationships with those of the people around me. Maybe I have to stop looking for reasons to leave.

I mean, if you would've told me a couple months ago that there would come a time when I would spend almost two weeks with Devon and he wouldn't once try to get into my pants or make a move on me, I would've laughed in your face. But that's the way it's been since the fire, I've been here every single day and he hasn't made a move even though his eyes and body tell me that he wants me.

He's been really good to me since it happened. He helped me plan the funeral, he stood beside me at the cemetery. He's held me when I need a hug. He's been everything I need him to be. I have a feeling if it weren't for him, I would've given in to the depression that's lurking in the shadows.

I want to do something for him. Something to show him how grateful I am that he's been so good to me but I don't know what. I'm open to suggestions...

Hellfire

I haven't stopped shaking since that night. I haven't been into work, I haven't been out of this place actually. I'm too scared to be anywhere out there at the moment. Right now, I'm sitting on a couch in a room that I never thought I would see the inside of again. A place I didn't think I would ever be welcomed. The events of the other night has changed that.

That night. I want to cry every time I think of it. It's so unbelievable. I can't believe that it all started so innocently. It started with me getting ready to leave Amber and Reed's house after being over there most of the day last Saturday - God I can't even believe it's been a week since my life got turned upside down and inside out.

I was leaving Amber's house, getting ready to go home when Sean came over. I felt weird seeing him again since the last time I saw him, he walked out of my room instead of kissing me. At first I was pissed that he invaded my space but soon I was angry that he left without kissing me. Now though, I just fell strange when I think about what could've happened. Amber and I had joked since the moment she met Reed, how it would be perfect if he had a brother I could date but I never thought - I mean how could I even think about him or see him or anything without seeing Reed? And unfortunately, that's all I see when I look at Sean. It's creepy.

"How's my favorite sister in law?" Sean greeted Amber with a kiss on the cheek and then asked where Reed was.

Amber told him that Reed was still at work, "But please feel free to go and rescue him," she told him. "I would love to see my fiance," she giggled when she said 'fiance', it was cute.

"I'll do that," he told her, promising to have Reed home within the hour.

"Oh thank you!" She hugged him tight. "You have no idea how long it's been since -"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Sean held up his hands in mock surrender. "I don't need to know about my brother's sex life...ever!" He turned, as if to walk out the door and 'noticed' me - like he didn't see me before that. "Hey Janie," he had the nerve to flash his pearly whites at me like nothing ever almost happened between us. "Didn't see you there," he lied as his eyes ran down over my body. "You were heading out? Did you need a ride? I didn't see a car out there."

"No, that's -"

"Oh would you Sean?" Amber butt in with a grin on her face. "I would really appreciate it, Alexis is getting cranky and needs a bath."

So I that's how I ended up with Sean driving me home, once again.

"I wanted to talk to you about the other day," he said after a long silence as we drove to my house.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I stared out the passenger window.

He laughed, "Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about - Spitfire."

I rolled my eyes. "My name is Janie, do you have problems remembering simple stuff like that?" I turned to him, "I know they say the memory is the first thing to go when you get old..."

"Don't be worrying about my memory Sunshine, it hasn't forgotten the look in your eyes before I left the other day," he paused, glanced at me and smiled. "You wanted me, badly."

"Uh huh," I scoffed. "I want you, I need you...oh baby, oh baby!" I rolled my eyes as I quoted a line from '10 Things I Hate About You' - I had rewatched that movie the day before.

He just laughed but his smile faded as he turned a corner. His eyes widened, his jaw dropped as he stared, unblinkingly, out the windshield.

"I'm not that into -"

"Janie!" Sean reached out, grabbed my arm. "Please tell me I'm on the wrong street."

"No, this is..." I froze.

Sean pulled up to the curb. "Janie," he turned to me but I didn't see him, I was transfixed on the bright orange-red flickering flames and the black smoke that consumed my house. "Janie," he shook me. "I'm sure that it's not as bad as we think," he told me. "Let's go see where your mom is and -"

"Mom?" I felt my heart jump into my throat. "Mom!" I pulled on the door handle hard enough that it almost came off in my hand. Shoving the door open, I leapt out only to fall on my face onto the side of the road. "Mom!" I screamed out as I slammed into the ground.

"Janie hold on!" Sean ran over to me, he tried to help me up but I was crawling - that's right - crawling towards the group of people, my neighbours, who were all gathered as they watched my home go up in smoke.

"This can't be happening," I said as he pulled me off the ground and held me at his side. "I have too...I need..." There was a loud bang, I screamed and jumped. "Mom!" I wrestle against his hold but he wouldn't let me go.

"Janie I'll go check on your mom, why don't you sit down and -"

"You think I can just sit?" I stared at him in disbelief. "That's my HOME Sean! My HOME! And my MOM! Could you just sit?"

"No, I would have to know..."

"See? I need to go find -"

"But you can't get around that well Janie!" He pushed me backwards until I was up against his car. "Sit here and I'll go see what I can find out," he ordered.

I felt helpless as he ran from me and into the crowd. I can't even tell you what I was thinking at that moment, all I can remember is thinking that Sean would find mom and she would explain to me what was going on. She would tell me that she accidentally dropped her cigarette and it started a fire, like she did before. Only this time, I stared at the inferno that was my house. All my memories of being in that house started to flash before my eyes - playing in the back yard with my parents, barbecues, parties and sleep overs with Amber. Oh mom, what did you do? Why did you have to get drunk and start a fire again? How many times have I told you about smoking and drinking?

It seemed like a lifetime passed since Sean left my side to go find out what had happened. I was starting to wonder where he was, I decided to go find him when I heard a voice I certainly didn't expect.

"Janie! Oh thank God!" His arms were around me, his lips pressing tiny kisses all over my face as he mumbled his thanks.

"Devon?" I was confused, how did he get there? "What are you doing here?"

"Amber called me," he told me as he held me at arm's lenght and stared down into my eyes. "Baby I thought the worst. Amber called me freaking out, said something about fire and you...I didn't even take the time to ask, I just came over here." He glanced behind him before turning his worried gaze back at me. "What happened here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" A familiar male voice came from behind Devon. "Darla got drunk and burnt down the fucking house! God! She never fails to ruin my night!"

"Dad!" I gasped.

"What?" He glared at me. "Are you going to defend your mother this time? Tell me that she didn't mean any of this? That it was a mistake?" He started to mumble, I made out 'always throwing a wrench in my happiness, the spiteful bitch.'

"Mr Wells," Devon's arm slipped around my waist as he turned to my father. "I really don't think this is the right time to get into this, let's just wait and see what Mrs Wells has to say about-"

"I'm afraid that's not going to happen," Sean reappeared with a somber look on his face, his eyes were on me and nothing else.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Devon demanded as he tried to step between Sean and me.

Sean's eyes drifted from me to Devon, "I was bringing Janie home," he told him as he turned his attention back to me. "I'm sorry."

"Well it wasn't your fault," I said stupidly. "Amber did have to put Alexis to bed..." I trailed off as he cringed. "Sean what...?"

"Janie," he reached for me but I slapped his hands away and demanded that he tell me what he was sorry about.

"They couldn't help her Janie," he reached for my hands and I let him take them. I was shaking, I didn't want to hear what he was about to say, I had a bad feeling what it was. "They tried everything but they were too late," I felt my knees give out and Devon's arms tightened around my waist as he held me upright. "They just brought her out," he shook his head. "She died before they could get to her."

In slow moment, I heard him say those words. In slow motion, I looked from him to the fire and back again. "NO!" I cried as I struck out at him.

"I'm sorry," he dodged my punch. "I'm so sorry Janie, your mom didn't survive."

"No!" I screamed at him. He repeated that he was sorry and he made a move to come towards me but I turned from him...

...right into the warmth of Devon's arms. I pressed my face against his chest, my hands gripped his shirt as I sobbed uncontrollably for my mom.

It's been a week since that night, I know I said that before and I'm sorry I repeat myself it's not easy to wrap my mind around it still. Everything seems unreal. A dream. A nightmare.

Amber had asked Sean to bring me back to her place but I couldn't go there. I didn't want to be around them, they didn't know how it felt and I didn't want to be a burden to them.

He didn't know how I felt and I didn't want to be a burden to him either. But I let him take me back to his place. I let him hold me as I cried myself to sleep that night. I let him try and soothe me when I woke up screaming from the nightmares.

He's been so good to me since that night. He hasn't pushed me for anything, he's been here for me. He's let me do what I needed to do to deal with this and he's given me everything I could possibly need. He even resisted me when I started to strip for him, even though, I saw his desire for me in his eyes and in the telltale bulge in his pants.

He's been everything I needed and wanted. It has left me wondering why I ever thought he wasn't the man for me.

Did I give him the chance he deserved after everything happened with Kelly? Or was I still upset and getting back at him for all the times he hurt me in the past?

I wonder those things but neither one of those questions was the biggest question on my mind. That one was, why is he doing this? Why is he being so good to me after all I did? Why does he still care?

Going Crazy

So much as happened. So much. I don't even know where to start. I don't know how to explain it. I don't...

The pain is more real than I thought it would be. But yet nothing seems real. I feel like I'm living in a daze. Like nothing is real.

But it is. I smelt the smoke. I smell the smoke still. It stings my eyes. It burns my throat. It haunts my sleep.

Not that I sleep much. I can't. It's been so long. I'm so tired.

To sleep is to dream.

I don't want to dream.

I want to wake up and find that this was all a dream.

Oh Dear God! Please let this all be a horrible, horrible dream.

Spitfire

I wish I could say that Sean and I came home to find one of my 'guys' sitting on my doorstep waiting for me to get my pretty little butt home but no, that would be too 'every girl's fantasy'. No, Sean pulled his car up in front of my house only to see my mother at her finest - screaming at our neighbours with a drink in her hand and a cigarette hanging from her lips.

"Mom!" I fumbled with the door handle in my haste to get out of Sean's car and over to my mom before the neighbours called the cops on her...again.

"Janie just wait," Sean was out of the car and opening my door before I could even respond. "Did you want me to -"

I gripped the frame of the car, pulling myself out. "Mom!" I called again as, in a moment of stupidity, I stepped down with my injured ankle. "Damn it!"

"Hey now," Sean caught me in his arms, holding me tight against his chest. "How about you let me help you Sunshine?"

"My name is Janie!" I snapped at him. "Not Sunshine!"

"Oh?" He raised a brow. "You don't like Sunshine? How do you feel about Little Spitfire?" When I rolled my eyes, he laughed. "Ah yes, that's a good name for you, Spitfire."

"Janie!" My mom came running over to us. "What happened to you?" While I was telling my mom how I fell and hurt myself, she turned to Sean. "You aren't Devon."

"No ma'am I'm not," he held out his hand to her, "I'm -"

"I know who you are," mom cut him off as she turned to me in disbelief. "I'm shocked Janie, I didn't think you had it in you."

"Didn't think I had what in me?"

"To get what you want without worrying about what others think." She stared at Sean for a moment, "It's about time someone put that snooty little brat in her place and showed her that she can't have everything." To me she continued, "I don't know how you could've been friends with that girl anyway, you are too good for her."

I frowned, my mom was prone to rambling on about nothing when she was drinking, it always confused me. "Mom I don't know what you are talking about."

Mom wasn't listening to me though, she was still rambling on, "Although being seen in broad daylight flirting with with the little tramp's boyfriend wasn't the smartest idea...unless," her eyes widen. "Are you planning on sticking it to her? Show her that she's nothing? That she doesn't deserve a rich young man like Reed?"

"Reed?" I gasped - first in confusion and then in shock as I realized that mom thought Sean was Reed. "Mom! This isn't Reed!"

"Oh sure," mom laughed. "And I'm the Queen of France!"

It took a few minutes and Sean showing her his ID before she believed that he wasn't Reed. "Well," she got all snotty. "You are still a better catch than that little tramp."

"Amber isn't a tramp mom! She's my best friend and I won't stand here and let you talk down about her." I went to stomp off towards the house, forgetting about my ankle for a moment. "Son of a..." I bit my bottom lip as the pain shot up through my leg.

Sean's arms were around me before I could fall into a heap on the ground. "Maybe you should cut out the dramatics until the ankle is better?"

I glared at him. "Shut up."

He chuckled, "What am I going to do with you Spitfire?"

"How about you leave me alone? That would be a good place to start."

"Hmmm," he shrugged. "And miss all the cute little remarks you make?" He shook his head. "Nah, where would the fun be in that?"

"Just leave me - hey!" I shrieked as he lifted me up in his arms. "Put me down!" I demanded but he ignored me.

"Bring the crutches," he said to my mom as he headed towards my house.

Sean didn't put me down until he had forced his way into my house and stood before my bed. "You should get some rest," he told me as he laid me back against the pillows he made my mom arrange for me. "You'll need your strenght when you start using those crutches - I won't always be here to help you."

He was still leaning over me as he spoke. If I wanted too, all I had to do was lift my hand and I would be able to touch him pretty much everywhere. He was too close. I didn't want anyone to be that close to me, it stopped me from thinking straight. It made me say stupid things like, "Why can't you stay?"

"There's no reason I can't," he said softly as his eyes slide from mine to rest on my lips for a moment. "Mmm," he smiled. "I could stay..." For the second time in less than ten minutes, I was biting my bottom lip but this time it was for a totally different reason as his rough fingers brushed against my cheek. "Don't do that," he groaned as his thumb attempted to coax my lip from between my teeth. "Let me do it instead."

A groan from deep inside me escaped as my eyes closed. "I'm not stopping you." I could feel his breath against my cheek, I waited for his lips to connect with mine but it never happened. He pulled away and the cold air surrounded me. "Sean?" I opened my eyes to see him retreat to the door. "What's wrong?"

He didn't stop to answer me, he just walked through my doorway, "Take care of yourself," he threw over his shoulder before he disappeared.

I've heard from everyone except for Sean since that day, they all wanted to know how I was doing. Even Devon dropped by with flowers but I was sleeping so he just told mom to give them to me.

I don't know what he's doing. I don't know why I care. I wish I didn't, it shouldn't matter to me but it does.

Strange Day

I thought the moment Sean got me into the emergency room, he would make any excuse to disappear. "Thanks for bringing me here," I said as I filled out the paperwork required to see the doctor on duty that evening. "When I'm through, I'll call my mom, she should be able to come and get me." I was lying though, I didn't know if my mom would even be sober if I were to call her but I felt bad that Sean was here when he didn't really have to be - it wasn't his fault that his co-workers whistled at me and I fell like a moron. "You don't have to stick around."

"Mmhmm," was all he said as I handed the clipboard back to the lady behind the desk.

"Take a seat and the doctor will be with you as soon as possible," she smiled at me and pointed to the rows of chairs to my left.

After helping me to the chairs, Sean stretched out in the chair next to me. "You don't have to stay," I told him. "I'll be fine."

"I'm not going anywhere," he picked up a magazine and started to flip through it. "So save your breath Sunshine."

"Sunshine?" I laughed. "Do I look all bright and cheery to you?"

He lowered the magazine and gave me a once over. "Behind that mask you wear, yes."

"What mask?" I asked but he returned to the magazine, pretending to be wrapped up in it until the nurse came out for me.

As it turned out, I did manage to sprain my ankle. The doctor wrapped it, told me to get some crutches and keep off it.

"Where to now?" Sean asked once we were back in his car. "Are you hungry? I'm starving. Let's go grab a bite to eat down on St Micheal's street."

"No, I just -"

"I hear that the food at the Ember Cafe is really good, let's go there."

Without listening to my protests, Sean turned his car in the direction of St Micheal's and the Ember Cafe. It didn't matter that I wasn't in the mood to go anywhere in public while I attempted to hobble around on the crutches. It didn't matter that I really just wanted to go lie down because my head was starting to hurt. Sean wanted to go eat, so I was stuck going along with him.

"So tell me what happened with Devon." He had just come back from the bathroom where he attempted to clean up a little. He took a sip of his pop and raised a brow. "Did you break up with him? Or the other way around?"

"That's none of your business!" I snapped at him. "I don't want to be here, I'm going to call a cab and -"

"Good Evening, my name is Tracy, I'll be your waitress this evening." A tall blonde, over made up skanky whore hovered next to Sean's arm. "Are you ready to order or did you need a couple more minutes?" She asked Sean, completely ignoring me.

"I'm ready," he smiled at her and proceeded to tell her that he wanted a Philly Cheese steak with fries and gravy. When he was finished he turned to me. "What were you having?"

I rolled my eyes at him before giving the menu one quick glance. "I'll have the Hawaiian burger," I told her as I closed the menu, hoping she would disappear and never come back.

But she did come back, repeatedly. It was difficult to have a conversation with Sean with her always interrupting us to tell some story about people that we didn't even know or care about. Not that I wanted to have a conversation with Sean, well at least not about the subject he wanted to know about - Devon.

"Come on, why don't you want to talk about it?" He asked me when I told him to stop asking or I would kick him in the shin. "I think talking about it will help you get over him."

"I don't need your help to move on Sean, I'm quite capable of doing that on my own. Now," I dropped my napkin onto my empty plate. "Will you please take me home? My head is killing me."

He looked like he was going to protest but he didn't. "Why didn't you tell me you were in pain? Maybe I should take you back to the doctor, they could've missed something."

"No," I grabbed his hand as he started to get up. "I'm fine, I just have a headache, it's not a big deal. I'll go home, go to bed and I'll be good as new tomorrow morning."

He didn't look convinced but he agreed to take me home anyway.

I thought that the night would end and I would finally get a moment to think about everything that happened but when we got to my place there was a surprise waiting for me.