Trying To Make Her Life Normal

The night of the accident Amber asked me to pick Alexis up from her parents house and to look after her. I didn't know at the time that Amber was really asking me to become a surrogate mommy.

"I need to be here," Amber told me when I called her at the hospital that night after I picked up Alexis and had her playing in my living room. "Can you please take care of Alexis for me? Please Janie? I need to know that Alexis is safe."

Being the great friend I am, I promised her that I would take care of her daughter so she could concentrate on making sure that Reed knew that we loved and needed him here.

Problem was, I didn't have anything for Alexis, just the day bag that Lenore gave me when I picked her up. I didn't have enough diapers, clothes out anything else that one would need to take care of a baby. I thought about going to Amber and Reed's but it just felt wrong to be there or think about staying there when they weren't around.

It was getting later and later by the minute, Alexis was whining and rubbing her eyes as she called out to her mom and dad. It broke my heart to hear her crying for them. I wanted to do anything to make it stop. I wished that I was able to turn back time and stop the driver that hit Reed's car so that my friend and her family wouldn't know the heartache they were feeling at this moment.

Of course, I was incapable of turning back time - hell I wasn't really qualified to be alone in her company - I didn't know the first thing about babies. My experience went as far as being around her when Amber was around.

So I did the only thing I could think of - I called in backup.

"Thank you for coming," I said as my backup crossed my doorstep and took a squirmy, crying Alexis out of my arms and attempted to soothe her. "I don't know what to do," I admitted helplessly. "She's been crying for a while and she's so tired. I don't have pjs for her and I don't have her blanket. I don't know if I'm supposed to wash her before bed or even if I can put her in a real bed for that matter! I'm freaking out here! Why did Amber think I could -"

The pressure of his lips on mine stopped me dead in my rambling. "Don't worry Janie," he said with a smile as he pulled away from me. "Just calm down and I promise that everything will be alright."

It had been a long week, like I said in the last post, Alexis still cries at night for her dad, but during the day she's almost as happy as she was over a week ago.

I would love to say that it was because of my care giving but I know that's not true. I'm convinced with my entire being that the only reason Alexis feels 'normal' at all is the man who came to our rescue. The man who told me that I wasn't doing this alone as he brought his suitcases in along with the stuff he managed to gather from Amber's place for Alexis.

Just now, he poked his head into my room and asked me to join him in the living room. I don't know what he's been doing for the last hour or so - he banished Alexis and me to my room so he could do something without us 'ruining' the surprise.